Translations
FOOTBALL TRANSLATIONS
It's my experience that sporting clichés don't really change much, whether from southern to northern hemisphere, or from football to rugby or cricket. So, next time you listen to the post-match interviews, think about what the interviewee is really saying!
On a "gift" last-minute equalizer conceded:-
What the manager says: "That's fitba' - one week you get a break, the next week not".
What the manager means: "I could murder our centre half for that balls-up!"
On losing a home cup-tie:-
What the manager says: "We'll just have to concentrate on the league now"
What the manager means: "Oh sh*t, I needed a cup run to save my job!"
On an outburst by his continental star:-
What the manager says: "We have to allow for differences of opinion"
What the manager means: "What's the furrin eejit gone and said noo!"
On a dodgy refereeing decision (again):-
What the manager says: "I don't think it's my place to comment"
What the manager means: "If I say one word about that *#$!& I'll get fined again!"
On "support" offered by his Chairman:-
What the manager says: "It's nice to know I have the backing of the Board"
What the manager means: "I wonder if I'll get the chop on Tuesday or Wednesday!"
On a penalty turned down:-
What the player says: "The ref obviously had a different view of it"
What the player means: "What game was that *#%! ref at, anyway!"
On probable relegation:-
What the player says: "You just have to take the rough with the smooth"
What the player means: "I'd better tell the wife that the Caribbean trip is off!"
On losing a semi-final:-
What the player says: "You never know when another chance like this will come"
What the player means: "Sh*t! I'll probably never get tae Hampden noo!"
On finally beating one of the Old Firm:-
What the player says: "We need to start getting more consistent now"
What the player means: "How did we win today but get stuffed at Ayr last week?"
On being injured by a bad tackle:
What the player says: "It was probably a 50-50 ball, just one of those things"
What the player means: "One of those things my a**e, he'd better watch out next time we play them!"
Garry Paterson, Pretoria, South Africa
'Well below the equator
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