Onlooker
ONLOOKER:
DIRECTORS BEHAVING BADLY:
The first home league win coincided with Wee Tam's big brother getting an official warning, for his behaviour in the "Posh" seats, from the "Old Bill. At least crabbit Jim shows some passion when his side is losing, a bit more commitment from our chairman wouldn't go amiss. Also on the
same weekend, Mr. Blobby" from Livi was getting into soapy bubble in Bridieland - Must have been something in the tea!
ARROGANT FAT CAT:
The "Whats the Score" TV programme illustrated the smug, arrogant face of the Jambo Chairman. However Jim Traynor raised two very pertinent questions; 1 The Bunnet is taking his "bung" soon,
so why should we take any notice of him! What is to stop the gruesome twosome from treating the others in the Top Ten in the Cavalier way they are treating the rest of the clubs when it suits their ends.
STREET CRED:
Pity the duo who fronted the opposition to the Breakaway debate on N were George "Bluster" Fulston, ex of Accies asset stripping, and Mr. Blobby who re-located Meadowbank into the welcoming arms of the Livi public. Still their case had more merit than that of the Avarice and
Greed defence that "Oor Man" Alex tried to defend, no wonder he looked sheepish in his faltering case for change.
A GENT:
Our former player, Mio Krivocapic, the man from Niksic Crn Gora witnessed our first league victory, perhaps he is our lucky charm. I was lucky enough to speak to him afterwards, he still appears interested in the club and its current perilous position. As a role model for aspiring youngsters, he is a fine example both on and off the park.
ARE YOU AIRDRIE IN DISGUISE?:
With Paton's plodders giving a good impression of the Beastie Boys, and the ref Mr. Young giving a who is the Bxxxxxd in the black type of performance. Still it was good to see the Well double the number of home wins this season before the New Year. How after the game "Lugs" Moore could defend the Dutch Donkeys assault on McMillan defies belief, but of course "diver" Moore comes originally from cheatsville Jambo land.
ZEBRAS 1 SCUM 0:
For The first time this season 1 watched the featured match an Football Italia because it featured the provincial no hopers from the Stade Del Communale Fruili the home of the Italian Zebras, Udinese. Thankfully Ollie Bierhofs late header saw off the Scum from Milan. As Udine is
such a backwater close to the Croat border they are the only side in the Lira laden league that I have any interest in. Good to see their three up policy put the Champions elect to the sword, good on 'em, it now just needs S04 to follow their example in March and I'll be a happy chappie.
CONSPIRACY THEORY:
Not The one expounded by the Beggars to explain away their defeats, but the one to explain why the lights went out at Selhurst Park, leaving the Wombles and the Arse in the dark. With Bruce "bung" Grobelaar and Hans "Yer Cash" Segers allegedly assisting Far East gentlemen to wager on games the word was out that the Arse had not to win according to the smart money, enough said.
RECIDIVISTS:
Definition first of all:- one who relapses into crime! Perhaps a bit harsh but pretty close to Motherwell's performance in Sheep City which was undoubtedly criminal. After a couple of decent results and displays this was a chance to put some light between us and the sheep molesters
providing we didn't lose. What happens "Beano and Jessie" the misfits give us a three goal dumping. Motherwell are becoming masters of the unpredictable, they never seem to be capable of making things easy for themselves or the supporters. The defending from what I saw on TV looked of a joke standard, back to the drawing board Alex.
A NEWMAN:
Not just the acquisition of Rob from Mustard City but the Canary boys use of the ball up the line has allowed Elvis to show his pace, making more use of his speed to occupy the opposition's defence. "Sick Note" has looked a deal more comfortable carrying the ball from midfield rather than waiting for the ball being played up to him when he was up front. He now looks a useful member of the first team squad, a real turnaround, a "newman" in fact.
J'PASSE PAR LA PORTE ST DENIS:
Unfortunately as the rest of the song goes it turns out bad for the wee mouse. A similar outcome is likely for "Paw Broon's boys against Brazil and it isn't likely to get any better as the Norse have a couple of decent strikers, something Paw's lot doesn't possess, this is along with their dour defence. As Jim Autocue's pal "That's Right Charlie" pointed out the Maroc will be extremely mobile and skilled for Broon's boys lumbering defenders, as a high percentage of the Moroccan's play in France, Portugal and Germany. They will also have a large noisy support for Scotland's fina! game in Mondial 1998.
PREDICTABLE:
The result at Swinecastle, along with Mr. Clyde's display were very predictable. Unfortunately Mr. Clyde's inept one-sided decision making disguised another poor display by our side. Defending too deep, conceding free kicks unnecessarily with the inevitable spot kick following and "mon ami" Kevin walking for his second cautionable indiscretion. At least soon the number of cautions the youngster has received will mean a lengthy suspension, however the number of
cautions we are picking up is going to mean suspension for more important squad members. Until we learn that you start defending by putting pressure on the opposition as soon as they have the
ball not ten yards from your own penalty we are always going to lose goals to easily. I saw ten men win despite having no keeper but their front players worked their socks off, Motherwell's don't always do this.
FIFTY GRAND:
so all those on trial at Motherwell have cost the equivalent of five Kevin Christies according to the manager. Yet all we have to show for it to my knowledge is Elvis whose first touch is suspect and Eric Garcin who got crocked in his second game, although he looked useful before
going absent. Ali this frantic searching for new talent ought to have been obviated had a decent youth and reserve team policy been instituted. It was obvious the side was well short last
season, close season was the time to try to and bring in new players, not after the event and the damage and confidence drained by poor results.
BAD COMPANY:
Having Thrown our hat in with the gang of 10, as the saying goes one is judged by the company you keep. What the F$%k are Motherwell doing in the company of the Masons and the Beggars, it can only be for self preservation in the form of our Premier League Status. Motherwell have nothing in common with these predators, the gloves having come off with the sweeteners being withdrawn if the Bully Boys don't get their way!! Nice people to be travelling companions with - NOT!
ON A MISSION:
My visit to the "New Swinecastle was as an obligement to a Hereford fan who wanted photos of the revamped Jamboland. This mission was completed successfully, but Motherwell also seemed to be on
a mission to ensure they had no direct attempts on goal, this mission was also achieve successfully I am afraid. Mr. Clyde also was on a mission to book every outfield player we had while allowing the Jambos to cheat by feigning injury if a Well player came close, let alone
actually try to tackle any of them. Mr. Clyde almost accomplished his mission!!!
CLOSED SHOP CARTEL:
So it is now clear why Motherwell are so glad to join the gaderene swine- no relegation place. Well if the new set up is by invitation only, I don't think the Bunnet at Beggarsville will be too kindly disposed to us. Unless we keep grinding out draws against the Masons and help deprive them of their 10-in-a-row party like we did last May. Our place at the trough may not be so clear cut. Somehow I personally have more affinity to the Dundee's, St. Mirren's etc of this world, there is less of a difference between us and them than Greed and Acvarice and co.
DERBY DAZE:
The postponement of the only Lanarkshire Derby due to bureaucracy deciding to call time on the Wee Rovers until they replace a few 13A fuses. It gave me the opportunity to take in the derby atmosphere, at the replayed game, with two of the supposedly better sides in the division. Unfortunately like the weather it was wet and windy with the ball wellied up and down the swamp that is the Wee Rovers pitch. Any player who tried to dally on the ball got clattered for his pains. This was even poorer fare than Well's first visit to Rugby Park which until this derby had been the worst game I had seen this season. (must have been bad based upon that Killie game-ED!!)
KISS AND TEL:
So EL Tel is to help Paw Broon in Mondial 98 dans La Belle France Given his track record this is surely not a wise move, Ally McLeod our ex-boss knows how it fee!s to draw with iran and exit
early from the Worid Cup as EL Tel's Socceroos have just done. EL Tel has also just quit from my English side (Portsmouth) who at the time were rock bottom of Nationwide Div. One with players not being paid regularly it is hardly surprising that they didn't win very often. Perhaps Paw Broon wants a change of image to a ducker and weaver with a bit of dodgy dealing!!
"PIE"D PIPER OF HAMLEIN:
Good to see that Gazza hasn't changed his spots with his Pied Piper antics. Very appropriate that the original in the fable got rid of unwanted rodents perhaps the latter day one can get the gaderine swine (huns) to follow follow him to oblivion.
BLOW FOOTY:
Well unfortunately Motherwell aren't any good at this form of football either given their latest Rugby Park nightmare. A needless foul given away by Buff allied to a pish header out for the Wrightman's first goal. Stand off and admire as he wheels and turns for the second. Give the ball away from an ex-Killie man after he had decided to remember that he used to play for them when Missing a chance to make it 2-2, obviously he remembered the good times as the song goes. Woodsy
doing his Bruce the "Bung" impression only added salt to the wound and summed up a day that he had us down for a 1-4.
FUNNY OLD GAME:
Having should their black side the previous week Motherwell decided to compete when Sellic visited and got their just deserts from the 1-1 draw possibly slightly less than we were actually due had our former employee not decided to double up his tally of goals for the Beggars. How come he managed something like only 3-4 goals in his whole time at Mothewell? Despite "diver" Larssen's effort to win the tie for the Unwashed justice was done when Jacko trickled the unmerited spot kick wide of Woodsy's post. Even McNee commented on the fact that Motherwell seem able to perform against the gruesome twosome but fail miserably against the men from the Fair City and Killie. For me thats where good management skills come in, having said that its when
Motherwell think they are good and expect to win that they invariably lose.
DERBY DAZE PART II:
A couple of days prior to the Sellic game I took in the Renfrewshire derby which was a much better encounter than the Lanarkshire affair. Even cast off Andy Roddie looked up for it despite wearing his poncy gloves. The Ton managed to take almost double the fans Motherwell took to Killie, however the dislike of each of the protagonists may account for the good turn out.
MAIR PROGS:
The Jambo effort has always been a decent programme, and this season's continues the trend, the cost given the times is about right at £1.50. How long before Motherwell's joins this club? Hamilton's issue was the one for the original fixture without any update, I think clubs should be able to type a page of updated news along with the possible line ups. It took less than the train journey back to Glasgow to read, there was nothing on the visitors, although their one line snips
are interesting enough, again about right for a quid. St. Mirren's issue was for re-arranged game, full of adverts and little else, who do they think they are charging £1.50, a rip off if
ever I read one. The saving feature was the colourful cover, but where's the beef as they say. Rangers, as the lager advert states, probably the best issue in the League. But given the resources it ought to be, again given their sales more profits to those who least need it.
....John Creighton
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