GLF 51: Geoff looks into his crystal ball.
Next Year's Table
Here’s a sneak preview of next seasons starting line up for the SPL after the various points have been docked as voted for by the member clubs.
Pts
Aberdeen -8
Celtic -15
Dundee -10
Dundee Utd -9
Dunfermline -12
Hearts -8
Hibs -8
Kilmarnock -9
Livingston -14
Motherwell -10
Partick Th. -24
Rangers -15
Aberdeen are docked eight points for the excessive amount of sweetie wrappers that blow onto the pitch during matchdays.
Celtic are docked ten points because of their incessant claims to have the best behaved supporters in the world and a further five points because Stephen Pearson’s acne cream is clogging up their drainage.
Dundee are docked ten points for being in administration and a further five points for their impenetrable accents however five points are added for letting Jamie Langfield join Thistle and him helping them come bottom of the league.
Dundee Utd are docked five points for their accents and a further nine points because of the pokey bit of the ground away fans have to use.They are added five points for keeping Billy Dodds in a job at his age.
Dunfermline are docked six points for avoiding going into administration and a further six points for having a plastic pitch.
Hearts are docked eighteen points cause I just don’t like them but get a bonus ten points added as long as the Pieman remains in charge and leading them towards ruin.
Hibs are docked eight points due to the excessive admission charges at Easter Road.
Kilmarnock are docked twenty five points because of Jim Jeffries but get sixteen points for their pies.
Livingston are docked ten points for being in administration, one point for their drummer, one point for being cuddly, one point for their fans and a further point for their no swearing policy.
Motherwell are docked ten points for deliberately coming out of administration in order to avoid a points penalty for being in administration.
Partick Thistle are docked twelve points for avoiding relegation as no club had a suitable ground to be promoted and a further twelve for complaining that they wanted to be relegated and weren’t allowed.
Rangers are docked ten points for trying to claim they are doing something about bigotry but get five points added for services to Help The Aged.They are docked a further ten points for believing they have the brightest young managerial prospect in the country.
Here’s to another cracking season.
Geoff Baby
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