FPC FC at the Scottish Cup.

Every so often, FPC FC manage to plunge to new depths of incompetence. A combination of terrible play and some bad luck cost FPC FC dearly and they made a very early exit from the competition.

The tournament consisted of two groups of six teams. The top two in each group would progress to the semi finals but everyone else was guaranteed more games while playing for the 'consolation cup' or the wooden spoon.

FirParkCorner FC (in the dark!)

FPC's first game was against Real Maroon and they were outclassed for most of the game. That said, Real didn't create many clear cut chances and one of their players entertained everyone with two hilarious dives which fooled no one, particularly not the referee. However, Maroon did manage to score one scrappy goal and that was enough to give them a 1-0 win.

The second game was against Parcalona and FPC turned in a much better performance. They were unlucky not to take the lead when David Hendry fired home but was harshly ruled offside. FPC did go in front when Junior slotted past the 'keeper after a neat one-two. Victory looked certain until a needless penalty was given away well into injury time. Parca scored from the spot with the last kick off the ball to steal a draw.

Internazioswally were up next and FPC raced into a 2-0 lead. Moysie curled home a free kick and Jammy scored with a great solo effort. Gilly scored an oggie to make the score 2-1 at half time and Inter equalised half way through the second half. FPC regained the lead immediately when David Hendry lobbed the goalie and the first win looked certain. However, FPC can always be relied on to shoot themselves in the foot and duly conceded two goals in the last three minutes to ensure they lost 4-3. Heads were beginning to go down.

St Mirrenoff were up next and they cruised to a 2-0 win. They played some excellent stuff throughout the game and it took a string of marvellous saves from Del the goalie just to keep the score respectable. Would things have been different if Jammy had scored an early one on one? Probably not.

By the time the team faced Erin Hibs, it had already been confirmed FPC would be in the bottom section semi finals. As such, some fun was had with the positions and everyone swapped places. Moysie in goal defied Erin on a number of occasions and Jammy, Del, David Hendry and Gilly all battled hard at centre half. Some things never change though - Fraz was still stuck in midfield and was subbed at half time! Astonishingly, the ad hoc line up managed to hold Erin to a 2-1 loss. The FPC goal came when Moonie met Del's cross with an outrageous sclaff which looped over the 'keeper and into the corner.

The wooden spoon semi final was against CSN Dumbarton. By this time, three players had given up playing and the rest were complaining bitterly about sore joints and the cold weather. The pub was beginning to look like an attractive option and one of the most apathetic FPC performances ever saw the team lose 3-0 although no one could have complained if CSN had hit double figures.

FPC returned to Lanarkshire bruised and rather annoyed. It had been a bad day all round, but what a difference wins against Airdrie and Dunfermline could have made. Still, it would be good preperation for World Net in July.